he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
