It's Friday. Sex?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
