I'm going to jail i love you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
