She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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