Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
