just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
