I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
