Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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