I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let's paint friendship bongs
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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