Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I need moral support for this bender
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
