omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
