I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
