How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize