I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
