Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
