Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
