'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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