Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
