My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
