I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
