Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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