hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
