dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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