all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
