Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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