Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize