If that was your dad, he is hot
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
