Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
