Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
