sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
