she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
