just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
