I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
