I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
