I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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