So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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