I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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