It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
