do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
