I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
