Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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