so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
