Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
