Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
