Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
