This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
