Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
