my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
