Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bring me that man meat
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
