Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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