If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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